As I reflect on my personal life and sales experiences and talk to people about theirs, one thing we all have in common is past wounds with people – people we put our trust into that let us down. Or we have experienced emotional, psychological, or physical trauma. Events of the past can leave us feeling less than, even worse: we experience guilt or shame.
The #2 KILLER of SELF CONFIDENCE IS…BROKEN TRUST and TRAUMA!
As a survivor of a near death experience at age 9, a victim of a drunk driver on the road, I know firsthand how TRAUMA can show up later in life…destructively.
I see 2 paths: RESISTANCE (rebellion) or BROKEN BOUNDARIES (overcompensating, or being a ‘people pleaser.’). I have experienced both – and thankfully, I overcame both with my insights below….
The #2 KEY to (SALES) CONFIDENCE IS BOUNDARIES!
Dr Henry Cloud, author of the book ‘Boundaries,’ says ‘boundaries keep the pearls in and the pigs out.’
In other words, do you listen to your ‘inner voice’ when it is telling you to stay away from a person, event, or situation that may not serve you – or better yet, possibly put you in danger?
I used to ignore this voice – until I studied BOUNDARIES and learned that poor boundaries lead to bad relationships, loss, overcommitment, and ultimately unhappiness and damaged SELF WORTH!
Why do we give up our CONFIDENCE and why are BOUNDARIES so important? It impacts our SELF ESTEEM.
How can we OWN OUR CONFIDENCE? Follow these SECRETS to SUCCESS:
• BUILD BOUNDARIES: When I say NO, I mean NO. When I say NO, what am I saying YES to? It is usually self care.
• LOOK AT THE LESSONS: If you are a survivor of DAMAGED TRUST or TRAUMA, ask ‘how has this made me a better person – what strength do I have as a result of what I went through?’ There are GIFTS in events, if we choose to see them that way! My traumatic car accident gave me the gift of DETERMINATION!
• LET GO of GUILT AND SHAME: These are toxic emotions that should be processed (experienced) and released. There is freedom and peace of mind on the other side! Let it GO!
• THE COMPANY YOU KEEP: I have heard we are most like the 5 people we spend most of our time with. Are you spending your time with people who lift you up – or tear you down?
SELF WORTH allows us to embrace our past – and own it, not as good/bad, right/wrong, but as a way we can grow, be strong, and teach others. If you know someone else who has suffered a similar wound as you, could you support them?
If you are struggling with the past, damaged trust or self-esteem, having the support of someone else can make all the difference in the world! Hire a Coach! Coaching works!
Knowing you have someone on YOUR team who believes in you can help you grow and move forward in your life and take back ownership of your personal power!
I think of you as a success minded friend and I am so excited and passionate about sharing my mission with you: to work with sales and success driven stars to crush their results so they can live a life of PEACE and leave a life of STRESS – AND be the BEST version of THEMSELF at the same time!
I will share my 5 KEYS and 5 KILLERS of Self Confidence over the next several days. Watch for my blog posts to learn more!!